刮痧

  之前在网上看过这部影片的介绍一直很想看却从来没有合适的时间的去好好的看一遍，我很喜欢看电影，觉得看电影是一件会让人感觉到幸福的事情。
  《刮痧》是一部具有爱国情结的故事片，反映社会反映问题。无论是从编剧的大纲安排还是从导演的拍摄角度都能完完全全感受到一种浓郁的中国味道。故事是从一个远赴美国在美国跌爬滚打终于混出了名堂的一个中国家庭身上开始讲述的。因为小孙子肚子疼而爷爷初来乍到不懂得英文只好用刮痧这一中国传统中医疗法给孙子止痛，偶然孙子去医院看病脱了衣服却被医护人员看到了背上的青一片和紫一片以为是家庭暴力，便由此引发了矛盾开始了《刮痧》的全部故事内容。
  虽然是“刮痧”造成的法律纠纷但是从中又引出了很多因为异国、不同文化差异而造成的误会，我称之为误会，因为不同的文化不同的生活方式没有谁能够说到底是孰对孰错，只能说中国人有中国人的教育、生活方式，在美国有美国自己的生活态度，我们身在异国他乡就得按照人家的法律办事，我们所认为的顺理成章在那里都会变得“不可理喻”。
  还记得电影中有一段是讲两个孩子打架，中国爸爸非让自己的孩子给外国小孩道歉孩子不听话爸爸就打了孩子一巴掌，事后中国父亲解释说“我打孩子是因为给你（外国孩子的父亲）面子，尊重你！”“你打孩子是为了给我面子，尊重我？真是难以理解！”美国父亲惊诧的回答。
  在中国，我们可以理解这种为了给面子的“苦肉计”，我们从未怀疑这到底有没有必要，难道不去教训对方的面子就会颜面尽失，教训了之后对方的地位会大大增加吗？我想要不是这个影片估计是没有多少人会思考这个问题吧，因为我们从未怀疑这些“面子”问题有什么不对。
  影片里最让我觉得我们做的不好的还有关于儿童的保护，看到美国把每个儿童的利益放到最高点，孩子是不可以一个人被留在家里是不可以被轻视的，而我们中国因为家长的工作忙碌孩子一个人孤单的日子绝不在少数，而且作为孩子还必须要理解因为父母所做的一切都是因为我们。
  这种文化的差异，在世界逐渐一体化的今天我们变得开始向西方靠拢，我们的思考方式逐渐西化我们的文化逐渐西化就连电影，也不再是多少年前的中式电影风格，即使是《刮痧》为了获得更多的观众也采用了西式的外露型表达方式而不再是中国的含蓄美，所有的情感只有含蓄——这才是中国电影的标志。
  
  当然这些都不是这部电影的最大看点，我想所有的感性的观众在最后或多或少都为这种浓浓乡情、父与子之情感动的一塌糊涂。至少我坐在小小的教室里和同学们一样所有的泪水都一下子忍不住趟了出来。当看到在法庭上，美国律师说中国的西游记，说孙悟空是不折不扣的反面人物，我的心顿时激动了起来，我想如果此时我也在场肯定和大同（中国父亲）一样激动地想要和他打一架，太欺负人了！
  无知的美国人竟然为了赢一场官司不择手段的污蔑我们的文化，歧视我们的崇拜，太可憎了，可这就是现实，为了要回孩子只能忍气吞声，同样是中国人大同就选择的愤慨而简宁（中国母亲）选择的是忍气吞声。她为了孩子能回到身边为了孩子能上个更好的美国学校甚至会让孩子放弃母语而去说英语，即使跟自己的亲爷爷。她给自己的中国孩子灌输的全部都是西式教育我想她或许从未想过过有一天会让孩子回来，回到中国用在美国所学到的知识报答祖国为祖国的富强而贡献。
  我想他们只是中国在美华侨的缩影，为了获得更好的生活环境，我们无法要求他们再去做什么。
  最后为了能够孙子和爷爷再见上一面中国爸爸宁愿破坏规定从福利院带走了孩子，这一刻让人觉得心酸，爸爸和孩子被通缉成为了逃脱犯被警车拦截，爸爸陪着孩子跟警察周旋只为了孩子能够开心。孩子睡着了，爸爸才将他带回了福利院，轻轻的把他抱出来，然后被警察带走。那时，爸爸的眼爸爸的每一个举止投足都让人觉得那么心酸，回来吧放弃吧，在美国的生活实在太难过了。
  最后为了能让孩子回到家，爸爸和妈妈分居，爸爸成了虐待儿童的坏人辞了工作失去了家庭一个人躲在狭小的黑屋子里喝着闷酒。
  这年的冬天格外的冷。
圣诞节，爸爸答应跟孩子见面给他一个圣诞礼物，亲手画了个孙悟空样子做成圣诞娃娃，自己打扮成圣诞公公的样子想偷偷溜回家，没办法只好从墙外费力的一层一层爬到了九楼。那一刻所有人的心都跟着爸爸提心吊胆着，保佑着爸爸一定要爬上楼跟孩子团圆，一定。
  还好，一切的迷团都解开了，“刮痧”的中医疗法被解释清楚了，爸爸的罪名解除了，爸爸可以去见孩子了，可是爸爸并不知道还在一层层的向上爬着，爬着。
  结局当然很美好，全家人团聚相拥在一起，这年的圣诞节是这辈子最令人难忘的了。
  此时，在场的我们全部鼓起了掌声，我知道这掌声不仅仅因为他们全家团聚，而是为中国情、为父爱！
   
  

这片子是最初在英语视听课上看了一点片段，觉得很感兴趣，今天刚好空了，于是在线把它看完了，最后我没想到我居然看哭了。
 
《刮痧》讲的是东西方的文化差异：从在街头卖画白手起家的许大同终于经过多年奋斗得到了美国上流社会的认可，因为想要全家团聚，把北京的老父亲接来美国同住。小孙子丹尼斯某日肚子疼，老父亲因为看不懂药瓶上的英文，于是便用中国传统的刮痧疗法给孙子治疗。不想后来孙子在社区医院的一次检查中被发现了背上的淤痕，因为被儿童福利机构认为有遭受虐待的嫌疑，大同夫妇遭到起诉。
影片中的大同虽然在影片一开始得奖时的感言全然表现出他以融入美国社会而自豪，但骨子里完全是个中国男人。他认为管教丹尼斯的那一巴掌是为了向他的老板兼好友SHOW THE RESPECT，后来在听证会上为了怕影响父亲的绿卡签证毅然说刮痧是他而不是他父亲做的，对听不懂英文的父亲一直隐瞒丹尼斯被儿童福利机构带走的事，为的是怕他担心。
作为我本人，并不喜欢这种压抑自己并超额为别人着想的做法，我们这一代人的思维方式已然是西化了。但我却在后来深深地为这样的一个父亲而感动：因为法庭认为大同是一个危险人物和不合格的父亲，为了能让丹尼斯回家，他们夫妻不得不分居；在那个脏乱的出租屋里，许大同颓废地酗酒；他的妻子简宁来看望他，劝他别喝了不听，便干脆同他一起喝起来（我很喜欢简宁这个角色，在我看来她是影片中对所有事情处理和适应得最好的一个角色），喝醉了以后，她骂他是个混蛋，大同醉醺醺地应道：“是，我是个混蛋。”俩人大笑，她又说：“那我是什么……婊子？”简宁也是开着玩笑想释放一下，没想到大同听到这句话却痛苦不已，把杯子和酒瓶都砸了，连续叫道：“不要这么说！”圣诞夜，丹尼斯在电话里要大同promise一定回家，他不知该怎么拒绝，最后答应了，我本以为这只是一个哄孩子的骗局（看来我是小时候被骗惨了= =）。接下来出现的场景是大同在寒风中在露天公园里为一只长毛绒玩具猴子画上孙悟空的脸谱，有人前来抢劫他，他把钱都掏了出来给劫匪，没想到劫匪顺手还牵走了那只猴子，结果刚才还表现懦弱的大同冲上去一下子把劫匪扑倒在地一顿狠揍，口中大骂：“你这混蛋！这是给我儿子的圣诞节礼物！”故事最后的高潮，就是大同扮成圣诞老人从楼房外的下水管道爬上九层楼给儿子送礼物的那一幕。此时他的老板，在他辞职时说“这是什么混帐中国逻辑”的好友，已经亲自去中国城体验了刮痧，并作为证据找到起诉方，争取到了对方同意取消诉讼，并且刚把这个好消息带给简宁。大同从窗口回到家中的那一刻，一家人相拥在一起，故事终于走向大团圆结局。
 
这部片子的人物塑造都比较典型，情节也是戏剧性的，一个巧合套一个巧合，所有的情节冲突显然是因为浓缩过了而显得很紧凑，所以看起来有一点为故事而故事的刻意。不过我认为这部片子的主要魅力在于故事本身的角度精妙而出色，倒不一定非要表现得那么不露痕迹。
我在看这部片子时想到的并不仅仅是文化冲突（主要在我的生活中没有感受相似经历的机会），而是两代人之间的时代差异会造成的沟通问题。影片中似乎没有这个问题，除了儿子丹尼斯不理解大同说“打你是因为爱你”算是一个吧。我比较多感受到的来自中国传统文化的要求都是来自于我的母亲以及母亲面上的亲戚们，虽然父亲也是个比较传统的人，但他对我要求的方式却未曾让我感受到有不适的压力。母亲的亲戚们是一个大家庭，在我看来他们整体上都“意识形态色彩浓厚”，非常地注重中国传统道德礼仪，这当然也造成了他们的凝聚力非常地强。不过我从小感受到来着大家庭的诸多要求，带给我的记忆大部分都可以说不那么愉快。如果让我给类似于“打你是因为爱你”这样的话做一个价值判断的话，我无疑要说它是错的，并且我可以打一屏的字来批驳它。
最近上课，有个老师在课堂上对我们说：“文明之间当然是有高下之分的，像菲律宾这样居然会有人去香港游客出事的巴士前照相的民族，就是活该被人殖民。”当时我心里头就感觉我不能同意这种观点。
（虽然菲律宾人这种做法确实很二。）
我所想到的是：是不是正因为现在西方文明的那一套占优、占主流、属于强势，所以大家都觉得这一套才对？以至于不符合他们的文明的标准的民族就活该受欺负了……这套逻辑似乎又是弱肉强食的逻辑了。那如果非文明的做法占优势，是不是大家都要去推崇非文明了？如果道德、文明的标准可以套用适者生存的逻辑，无疑是将道德本身虚无化了。而两代人的沟通也是如此，现在是因为长辈们人数占优而且我还得靠他们养着，所以我就得遵守他们的规矩，而有一天他们终要年老体弱，轮到我们这一代人的思维方式抬头，然后我们再成为给下一代施加压力的长辈？
 
前几天见辩论队群里俩人吵架，想当年我也是个容易生气和人吵起来的人，所以倒是很明白其中一方的心情。吵架本身就是因为双方在意的焦点不一样，用来评断是非的那套逻辑也不是一回事。但吵到最后，在相互指责中，双方都只会对自己的那一套逻辑越来越执着。这样的吵架在效用上是等于零的，但是感情不能仅仅用效用来计算，所以往往还容易没完没了。实际上，每个人从小生长的环境都不一样，都可能形成属于自己的一套“应该”和“不应该”的判断标准，但是这套标准经常和别人不一样，经常也和事实并不一样：比如说你认为会给别人造成麻烦的事，事实上对别人来说并没有那么麻烦；你认为是每个人都轻易可以并应该做到的事情，也许对别人来说很困难。不带着觉察的心经常去验证一下，就会以为自己的标准这才是唯一的评判标准。
我并不是要批评这种状态，我想说其实最多受到自己的判断标准的限制和束缚的正是这个人自己。尤其是在表达善意和传达善意的方式上，一个人的内心经过了充分的生长和发展之后，应当是能够灵活地以各种方式来传达爱与接收到爱，而不是将自己的唯一正确的意志加给身边的人——这反而是贫乏的表现。就像我从小被教成一个要强的孩子，整个少女时代都是一个完全不会示弱的人，而且看到别的女孩子不要强反而受到更好的照顾时，心里头的那种不是滋味很容易就化作了攻击性——其实这个攻击性也是由好强的逻辑来的，结果事情越弄越糟。
尝试一下自己不习惯的状态并不妨碍人回到原来的选择，只是选择范围放宽很多了而已，并且从此也对和自己评价体系不同的人没有了敌意：什么都是有代价的，大家不过是各取所需，必要时还应该相互帮忙呢。
 
我见到过一句话：Sometimes,we love somebody complately without complete understanding.
我想这正是为人父母所给予孩子的，尽管因为时代变化得太快，经常方法不对、甚至造成反效果，但它也只是某一种模式，他们也只是茫然地面对着这个大时代的小人物，无所适从。就像影片中的中国传统文化，我也觉得它有很多问题，美国人应该更不能理解，但是并不能因为那是在美国，不理解的人人多势众，就说它是错误的。大同的老板能够亲自去中国城尝试刮痧，这是普通人所做不到的体谅，反过来说，也正是因为他是一个有自信、有安全感的人，才不惧于去推翻自己原有的判断。一个越是恐惧不安的人，越是不会去做自己认为“不应该”的事，因为他恐惧的是那套评判逻辑建立之初关于受惩罚的记忆，虽然实际上这种威胁可能早就不存在了。
面对一种自己不明白的评价机制，我想我们所能做到的只有耐心一点……再耐心一点……直到找到双方相处最合适的位置、距离和方式，不仅仅是对不同的文化，对长辈父母与后辈，对两性之间的心理差异，对怎样和不同的性格的人相处……这样说着，就想到自己做得并不好，基本还是别人宠着我。
不过我想：正如影片中那样，即使美国人不能理解中国人的思维，但最终能允许大同一家按照他们的方式生活，这本身对他们来说就是莫大的幸福吧。知道世界上不是只有一种正确的生活，不去对别人的生活方式指指戳戳，这也算是最简单的与人为善的方式了吧。

   When a member of one culture produces a message for consumption by a member of another culture, intercultural communication occurs, which is a kind of communication between people whose cultural perceptions and symbol systems are distinctive enough to alter the communication event. People are alike and different. We carry our culture with us wherever we go, and it influences how we respond to the people we meet.
   The leading man in the movie Gua Sha Treatment has been in America for eight years as a new immigrant. At the beginning of this movie, the man, Datong addressed a speech in American way to show his love to America and American dream. It seemed that he has gained great success in the American mainstream society. Yet it was just an exaggeration of his success when used to make the comparison with the ensuing events.
   Datong and his wife were born and raised in China, while their son was a Chinese American. They taught their son in American way and spoke English all the time. In the celebration, we can find Datong was praised and encouraged by his boss, who can be taken as a representative of the mainstream business. At the party, because of the quarrel between the two children, the son, Dennis was beaten by his father, which is just a very common action in Chinese culture. The grandfather of Dennis also admitted the way of education. Because the other boy is the son of his boss, Datong gave his son a lesson to show his respect to the boss, who can not understand it at all. The boss was shocked and accepted it temporarily. In American culture, individualism is the key point of American cultural pattern, even between the father and the son. But in Chinese cultural pattern, fathers have the right or responsibility to educate the sons, no matter in a legal way or his personal way. We tend to take it as family privacy, instead of family violence or child abuse. In traditional Chinese culture, family conflict is often solved between family members and it’s a shame to spread family conflict outside of the house, while in America, the law and regulations make the difference.
   There was a very plain role in this movie, Lao Huo, the man who acted terra-cotta warrior, which was a loser in pursuing American dream compared with Datong. There were only the daily life and death of Lao Huo in this movie, which reflected the pursuit and struggling of an ordinary person in America. The death of him made the father of Datong think a lot, which was a clue to tell us the old man will return to China finally. According to the two different results of pursuing American dream, two different result of cultural conflict revealed.
   After the Gua Sha treatment rendered by the grandfather, Datong and his wife accepted it because of their Chinese culture background and the previous experience. It’s natural for the couple to keep the accident of child abuse secret to their father. And Datong confessed it was he who gave the treatment to the child, although his wife showed a little reluctance and hesitance. Actually his father gave the Gua Sha treatment to the son. There was an obvious culture difference in the episode. Chinese people behave on the basis of experience, while American act with the reference to the specific evidence. It’s praiseworthy for Datong to be a scapegoat for his father. In Chinese traditional culture, the law is important but sometimes affection counts. It’s dutiful and responsible to reduce the pains of parents both in China and America. If Datong admitted his father gave the treatment to the child and his to father will be accused by the court. Although it’s lawful, it’s unfilial in Chinese culture, which is an unforgivable fault.
Chinese view on interpersonal relationship network has been illustrated richly in this movie. When Datong needed a lawyer to help him, he sought help of his friend, who is actually not a lawyer of family law, but copyright law. Because of the lack of legal knowledge and the good relationship between them, Datong insisted on his help. Before the hearing commenced, Datong’s wife asked why the court was not the same as she saw before on TV. The tiny episode accounted for the difference between the judicial systems. Because Datong was in trouble, he turned to his friend for help, regardless of his professional field. Chinese weak legal consciousness was also criticized and satirized in this movie and Datong’s family became victims of culture shock.
   Although Gua Sha treatment is common and effective in China, we never tried to understand how it worked. We learned our culture from folk tales, mass media, and education. Culture is transmitted from generation to generation, so we never question the therapy. Everyone is a product of his own culture, it’s undoubted for American to have nothing idea about the treatment. But we can also find strong prejudice and ethnocentrism of America in the response to the case.
   The trial of this child abuse case could be regarded as the climax of this film. Datong’s family fights against the charge, which is an intense conflict between the Chinese and American cultures. Traditional medical treatment cannot be proved and admitted. They have no interest in proving why Gua Sha treatment is advisable but tried to prove how much the couple loves their son. The judgment and condemnation are just based on the scratch, the judge never showed a fair and sensible attitude to the medical treatment. Chinese classical book Journey to the West is considered from the negative perspective, even though the accuser knew it was wrong. The malicious and deliberated objection described American competition and materialism. The aim of the dispute is just for the victory in the court, regardless of the wicked ways. The prejudice and discrimination are two apparent obstacles in the intercultural communication. Moreover, the ethnocentrism of America was also perceivable. The judge and the accuser never showed justice to Datong’s rebuttal. Because of the ignorance of the treatment, they were very indifferent and pride to Datong’s statement. This uncooperative attitude made this event worse. It seems all of them are well-educated and civilized, but the communication problems repeatedly arose. Both of the parties held respective strong cultural background and different values, which have implemented enormous impact.
   Additionally, the stereotyping to Chinese or easterners are mentionable. When Datong said he hit his son to save his boss’ face, to make him feel better. The boss felt it was twisted and absurd. When Datong said it was a common sense to save his wife rather than the child, the female accuser said, your Orientals are barbarian. Stereotypes were a means of organizing our images into fixed and simple categories that we use to stand for the entire collection of people. In most distances, stereotypes are the products of limited, lazy, and misguided perceptions. In the movie, some Americans never delete their confirmation bias and tend to put Chinese to shame. Then, the failure in intercultural communication occurs.
   According to Hall’s high-context and low-context communication, the Asian mode of communication is often indirect and implicit, whereas western communication tends to be direct and explicit-that is, everything needs to be stated. Westerners are more prone to making very explicit statements and have little capability with nonverbal forms of expression. High-context cultures tend to be more aware of their surroundings and their environment and do not rely on verbal communication as their main information channel. According to the analysis of the movie, we can find the difference between high-context and low-context communication. At the beginning, Datong’s wife disliked the grandfather’s smoking, but she said nothing directly and opened the window. Certainly the grandfather understood it easily. On the contrary, Americans often get permission first. And if they want to show the objection, they spoke it out. But it’s not impolite and respectful to ask the elder not to do something. When Chinese show their anger, it is also implicit. Datong was very angry to his boss, because he has thought his boss would help him on this issue. Datong hoped his boss to support him, but the fact that the boss told everything straightforward, which was unfavorable to Datong. In Datong’s view, they were friends and it’s responsible for the boss to help him and he took the frankness of his boss as a kind of betrayal. He was unwilling to work there any more and planned to quit that job after no discussion with his boss. It’s normal to a Chinese man to show his anger and express their spilt relationship. From the perspective of the American, it has nothing to do with their friendship. It’s reasonable and lawful to tell the judge all the truth. They don’t show personal emotions in the business and persuaded Datong to work, which is a way to show his kindness and concern.
The ending of this movie is happy and warm. The boss understood Gua Sha treatment and Datong’s family gained reunion on the important western festival. No matter in East or West, family reunion and family love are enjoyable and happy. In the end, the grandfather educated and taught his son again. It was warm and moving because we can feel the father’s love; no matter he expressed his love explicitly or implicitly. The grandfather left America because he found it was troublesome and upset for a person like him to live in the Western culture. It was a failure for an elderly like him in intercultural communication, and it was a success for the young generation in America.
   The last episode in the movie was the boy’s learning mandarin, which was a strong contrast to the beginning of the movie, where the boy was educated to speak English to prepare for the competition of the future. No culture is more advanced than others and cultural diversity should be advocated and protected. Human brain is an open system and supposed to appreciate the diversity.
Finally, the name of the leading man in this movie, “Datong”, is also a Chinese Confucian classical term, which means great harmony. Obviously, the name was created with the implied meaning. “Datong” society is the perfect and ideal society in Confucianism, which conveyed the hope and wish of the movie producers. Although there are so many different countries, cultures, systems, races, etc, it’s a pursuit to build such kind of harmonious society without discrimination, prejudice, conflict, war…

这是我第二次看这部片子。
我记得当年看这片子的时候我还尚小，最喜欢梁家辉带着孩子开车和警察跑高速的那段。
那时候我以为这是喜剧片，这么多年过去，我才发觉它的温情。
我实在看到片名的时候才想起它的，时间隔了太久，我都记不得那些情节，只记得被踩坏的孙悟空和爬窗子的圣诞老人。
于是，我又一点一点地回忆起来。
老实说，我一开始并没有怎么觉得这片子很吸引人；甚至，我一度抱怨着谁谁谁的演技太差而谁谁谁表演不尽如人意。
但是我呢，总是因为一句话就会被轻而易举地打动。
简宁说“Because he's Chinese.”。然后镜头切到许大同扶着父亲小心翼翼上楼的画面。我始终觉得那是无比美好的画面，在昏黄的灯光下，青年和老年的身影交错在一起，被拉长的镜头舒缓而伤感，隐藏在平静之下的波涛汹涌在这瞬间都变得微不足道。
那就是父子。
所以之后我看到许大同背着给丹尼斯的孙悟空要爬上九楼的时候，这种情绪便更加地激烈了起来。
我不想说所谓的文化差异所谓的民族精神，我也不想分析那些站在楼下围观的路人都纷纷有着怎样的心理。
我是只看我想看到的东西。
那是无论怎样都不会被埋没的天经地义理所当然的感情，不要求回报，只有心甘情愿地付出。那是父母和孩子之间不可违背的羁绊。没有理由也不需要证据。
我记得爷爷写给许大同的信，说“吾儿勿念”。
普天下的父亲皆是如此。

 好几年前看过的《刮痧》，剧情早已模糊，隐约记得的就是父亲为看儿子而扮成圣诞老人爬上下水管道，那一刻貌似也赚取了当年我的眼泪。
  最近看到阿米绪人的故事，想到这部电影，觉得有些异曲同工，关于所谓差异。
  阿米绪人，历史悠久的一个教派，再洗礼派的分支，简而言之，就是一群在美国现代社会中生活着的“原始人”，过着节俭克己与世无争远离现代的生活。他们的特立独行却造成了与现代社会的若干冲突。譬如他们认为孩子读书只需要读要14岁就足够，这就违反了义务教育法，导致父母被罚款甚至拘捕，骨肉分离。法律的本意是好的，为了提高公民素质；然而却触动了阿米绪人选择如何教育孩子的自由——在美国，家人具有这一自由是被法律认可的。这样广泛的冲突，相比起“刮痧”这一偶然事件，更具有典型意义。
  美国人要如何面对并解决这一冲突的呢？
  姑且不论，我是在想，《刮痧》一片，反映文化差异，算是感人心肺催人泪下，但是却仅至于此，未免简化了因果而显肤浅。留给观众的感受无非是：在美国你再成功也是异乡人，无法融入他们的文化，无法理解他们的做法，即使他们的出发点看起来是好的，我们中国人也无法接受他们这份善意。再引申一步，便是“美国有什么好的？”。完全忽略了其基于文明认识高度的保护弱势群体这一人道主义初衷，更没有去探究这样的制度是仅仅造成差异还是会着力解决差异——仅仅摆出差异，只不过是造成误解，并加深“我们不同”这一先入为主的思维定式，这种“我们不同”的观念甚至可以带来一份莫名其妙的自得，然后理所当然地拒绝普世观念，并进一步推动差异的扩大。
  继续说阿米绪人，他们教育孩子的自由被剥夺，引发广泛的同情，经过其自身与援助者的申诉和努力，最终最高法院判定强制实行的义务教育法侵犯了阿米绪教徒的宗教自由，允许他们豁免于义务教育法的约束而可以按照自己的意愿教育孩子。最高法院的判词中说到：“一种与众不同甚至是异僻的生活方式只要没有干涉到他人的权利或利益，就不能仅仅因为它们不同于他人就遭到谴责。”
  就是这样。中国人的生活方式，具体到刮痧，抽象到观念，在美国，没有人要刻意地排斥你，故意跟你作对，不是这样的（即便他们此刻不了解“刮痧”也不意味着他们主观上不愿意或不会去了解“刮痧”，尤其是倘若与案件的判决相关）。从社会整体来说，我相信那里不仅会有包容，也有足够的理性去解决冲突——底线是无损他人利益以及人道主义。
  这就是《刮痧》的不同之处，它讨论的是“虐待”孩子的问题，虽然是被误解了的“虐待”。的确家长有教育孩子的自由，但是这种自由的底线是人道，不能残害孩子的身体甚至生命。倘若说这样的认识有悖于中国文化，那只能说中国文化是不人道的；或者说，只不过是还没有达到文明的高度。
  固然，不打不成器，有其合理性；再怎样，大部分家长是为孩子好，因为打了孩子就让其骨肉分离，可能造成的是对孩子更大的伤害。但是，人类毕竟是找到了更好的教育孩子的方式，才能舍弃这样一种“野蛮”的方式。“棍棒”毕竟不是“孝子”的充分必要条件，那么就没有理由非选择它不可，明明有文明温和的手段，为什么非要野蛮粗暴？若非如此不可，那也无怪不能豁免于法律之外。这是一个文明世界的普世价值，根本就不是“我们不同”的问题。
  主旨就是想说，仅仅煽情地展现出“差异”是不够的，是要加深误解的。重要的是要让人知道，完善的法律和体制是如何解决差异、保护弱势群体、维护社会的平等与公正的。

基本上，剧情不太合理。梁家辉作为一个到美国生活了这么长时间的人，连不能够打孩子这么一点基本意识都没有吗？到了法庭上，本来几个词可以说清楚的事情，Chinese alternative therapy/massage，就是不说，光知道发脾气。如果不是有一个超级负责人的法官，这局面怎么收拾得了。要表现文化冲突也要合理一点才好啊。